Devils off to State shorthanded: Academic Ineligibility Benches Jocks

By: Jamie Butler --

NEXT week should be a historic milestone for Shady Valley High School. For the first time in over a decade, three of our varsity athletic programs—the baseball team, the softball team, and the track and field squad—have qualified for the State Championships.

The trophy cases in the main lobby are polished and waiting (and mostly empty). The booster club has already paid for the charter buses. The pep band has been rehearsing the fight song until their lips bleed.

There is just one problem: most of our best players will be watching the action from the bleachers.

Yesterday afternoon, Principal Crowley released an official statement confirming that final mid-term report cards have been processed. Under the state athletic association’s strict rules, any student-facing a failing grade or dropping below the required 2.0 GPA threshold is immediately barred from postseason play.

The hammer fell hard on Coach Mac and the Shady Valley squads.

"We built this season on teamwork," Varsity Coach Mac said, visibly deflated outside the locker room. "But losing your core rotation right before the biggest tournament of these kids' lives? It’s a demastating (sic) blow. We're totally hosed, unless. . . . um, nevermind."

Predictably, tension is boiling over in the hallways. Students are divided between anger at the administration and frustration with the athletes themselves.

"It’s not fair to the players who worked hard in class," said senior honor roll student Susan Albright. "Being an athlete doesn't give you a free pass to skip out on your homework. We all have to follow the rules." Conversely, many students feel the school should have offered more support before pulling the plug on a championship season. A small group of junior varsity athletes staged a silent protest during lunch today, wearing their jerseys inside out to show solidarity with their benched teammates.

Principal Crowley seemed distracted when asked for comment. "I have bigger fish to fry than a tournament that's unlikely to even happen," Crowley said cryptically. "Our primary mission is control. And, education. If you'll excuse me, I have to prepare for the PTA workshop this Friday."

The state tournaments begin next Tuesday morning. Our remaining Devils will undoubtedly play with grit and pride, but the hill just became a mountain to climb.